Thursday, 25 February 2010
Monday, 15 February 2010
So, with my best display of nonchalance, I brought it up to a few people; one of whom already knew about my hypnokink and so understood my sudden interest in the show. The rest, however (to my surprise) were rather divided in their opinions about it. I guess there’s always the assumption that any fetish you have will be scorned by the other members of society. But my friends were evenly divided really, I had one or two that were really ‘up for a laugh’ and others who decided to politely decline. No-one looked at me as if I had two heads when asking them, which was a pleasant surprise.
After managing to drag a few of them along with me, I attended my first stage hypnosis show earlier last week. Yup folks, Miss get-your-five-(trances)-a-day has never been to a stage hypnosis show. Sure, I’ve seen Mr McKenna on TV when I was younger; heck he’s one of the reasons I’ve got the kink I do. However, I’d never gotten around to seeing a stage show.
If I’m honest with you all, I’d been really nervous about it the more I thought about it. The dreaded ‘acting dilemma’ resurfaced as I pondered whether, if I did get up on stage, I’d be able to respond in front of all of those people. I’ve been tranced many a time before now as a ‘demo-doll’ for Lex’s hypnoshoots, but that’s two or three people in a room, and the models are going to be hypnotised later anyway. Here, I’d have to perform through all the usual embarrassing suggestions in front of 50-100 rowdy university students. What would happen if I got up on stage and was told I wasn’t going to be a good enough subject? Honestly, with all my hypnotic background, that would have killed me. But if that was the case, was I going to just force myself through any suggestion I was given?
By the time I arrived with my friends on the night, I wasn’t sure if I was even going to bother getting up. Having never been to one of these events, as far as I knew, the ‘tist just hypnotised the whole room and picked those who best responded. If this was the case, I wouldn’t get much choice, unless I actively fought the induction. One of the girls in our group reminded me that it was one of the lad’s birthdays, and that we should try to get him up on stage if we could. Now, I knew that he wasn’t too excited about the whole idea of hypnosis, and that part of him would ‘like’ to go under, but we both had a strong inkling that he’d fight it on an analytical level. So, whilst I felt a little bad (I did, honest!), I went across and introduced myself to David Knight before he began.
Now, when I’m a little nervous, I tend to adopt Lex’s ‘fake it until you make it!’ attitude. Which, worked great on the surface, however my anxiety has to come out in another medium. Mine is verbal diarrhoea. So not only did I tell David that it was my friend’s birthday, and that if possible could we force him up on stage but I ended up revealing a lot more than I intended. Positive comments Anthony Jaquelin had said about him on the UncommonForum... That I was a hypnofetishist.... That I’d been a subject for over 2.5 years now.... That I was nervous about whether I’d respond or not... Why can I never keep my mouth shut!
To his credit, David was a lovely fellow; really bubbly and chatty. He put me a little more at ease, mentioning that if I’d like to have a go, then great, if not, then it wouldn’t be a problem and that he hoped I’d enjoy the show.
At that moment the ‘birthday boy’ walked past us both, and I mentally cringed, praying to God he didn’t hear me dropping him in it. I nervously smiled to David, and decided to take my seat as the lights went down. It turned out I’d been wrong about his selection process. He asked for 12-14 volunteers from the audience, and at that moment I pointed my friend out to David, who proceeded to call him up onto the stage. To the birthday boy’s credit, there were only one or two glares that shot my way.
As the seats filled up on stage, my heart began to race. Decision time had come. In the background, a Countdown clock sounded (okay, no it didn’t, but it’s my story, and I’ll use whatever metaphorical props I like, thank you!) Was I going to get up on stage and risk not being able to respond to these suggestions, especially after I’d gone and told the hypnotist that I’d had a fair deal of prior experience as a subject? Or was I going to miss out, and in all likelihood kick myself later on for not going up? I looked up at my friend on stage, and felt a little bad considering both of our expectations for his abilities, and felt a little bad that I’d landed him up there alone. Biting my lip, I charged onto the stage, nabbing the last spot.
I looked around at the others lined up on stage, the birthday boy and I managed to exchange a brief knowing smile. No turning back now, I thought.
David began with some simple testers, floating/weighted hands, and magnetic fingers (yeah, look at me with my hypno knowledge! Booyah!) and had soon wheedled the number of volunteers down to about 10. It was strange actually, since I understood his patter and still managed to block out any points I began to overanalyse it. There were, however, bits of his patter I decided to ignore: “Imagine the superglue setting in between your fingers, now imagine a metal rod going through your hands, and a bolt on the end...” Erm. No thanks David.
He also placed me to one side at the front of the stage, facing to the side and looking up at the ceiling. There was the usual ‘close your eyes... breathe deeply... relaxing deeper all the time...’ patter going on, however it was unfortunately blocked out by one nagging factor. He’d placed me right underneath one of the speakers, and so having him talk through the microphone using a deep, booming voice, with my head inches away from a giant sound system, isn’t exactly what I’d consider relaxing. Then I felt his presence to the side of me, and (off the microphone, thankfully) he told me that as he clicked his fingers, every muscle would go limp and I’d fall back into his arms.
Being a woman, there was a small alarm bell in the back of my mind that made me *incredibly* nervous when he said that. I don’t even like Lex taking my full weight, even when he commands me to, and here I had to fall back to a guy I’d never met? Oh, I had no doubt he’d catch me, but would he be able to take my weight? I didn’t have long to muse about it because I heard the click and that small voice departed with an “Oh, fuck it” as I fell backwards. He was rather gentle, actually, which was nice, but the stage was fecking freezing! It wasn’t long before I was shivering, and tried to force my way back into trance and ignore the shivering until he came back to pick me up again.
It’s a flipping good job I’m so used to being a subject I can pretty much put myself under. And whilst the induction wasn’t *quite* as smooth as some I’ve had in the past, I have to bear in mind that it’s a stage show environment, not Lex’s bed.
He began with ‘simple’ methods of making fools out of the volunteers. Playing imaginary pianos, and riding horses (firstly becoming a cowboy, and secondly winning the Grand National). Apparently though, my movements were *slightly* more practised than the rest of the ‘key mashing’ and jumping around that was going on, as to me, I was just playing my piano at home, or riding as I did when I was younger. These suggestions were particularly amusing as a few of us ended up putting on spotless Western American accents as cowboys (or cowgirls in my case), and one lad when asked how he felt after winning the Grand National, responded (in a perfect Irish brogue) that he’d been training for 25 years and he wanted nothing more than to go home and have a bath. Bless.
Unfortunately for me, apparently what I’m most remembered for was a suggestion later on involving a pair of large glasses (we’re talking comedically large). Two other lads had been told that as they wore them, everyone in the room would appear naked. To their credit, the lads were really creative, and seemed to respond really well. After accepting the excuse that it was “Naked Thursday” in the University, one asked David if he could send all the males away and have all the women jump up and down. The other seemed incredulous that David had managed to get ‘his boys’ naked at the back of the room (even if they *were* rugby players). When it was my turn to put on the glasses, not only did I have trouble keeping them on over my own pair, but I made my repulsion *very* obvious as I caught the hypnotist out of the corner of my eye. I even asked him to stand out of my peripheral vision, and went back to checking out the *very* cute boy sitting next to me on the stage.
David of course, was not one to have his ego besmirched, and quickly zapped me again. I was told that as I awoke, he would now be endowed with the biggest cock I’d ever seen and that I’d be ‘all over him like a rash’. I’d like to add a side-note here, and apologise to the reader in advance for my own behaviour during this suggestion. I think the only thing that stopped me stripping right in front of the stage was a disclaimer he gave at the start that said there would be none of that kind of naughtiness ;) But, that didn’t stop me from using the worst and most clichéd lines in the book (we’re talking “so, do you come here often?” territory). David began to look a little uncomfortable, but that didn’t stop me, and – to quote the birthday boy himself – “he told you to sit back down in your seat, and the *sway* in your hips woman was frankly scandalous”. Even then, when he was torturing other volunteers, I got up out of my seat and went and sat next to him on the stage. To my uttermost shame, I even grabbed his arse as he walked past! He did go a lovely beetroot though....
After making one of the lads ‘lose his penis’ (“I look like fuckin’ action man! Where’s my dick!”) and trail off into the audience asking people if they had it, he gave the poor lad ‘the biggest cock he’d ever seen’. As if hearing him claim that it was ‘back to normal’ wasn’t funny enough, as David walked across the stage a ways in front of him, the lad kicked back his chair suddenly, yelped in pain and leant against the banister. His grunts were a mixture of fury and (very nearly) tears as he explained that David had ‘stood on his cock’ as he’d walked past. Heck, I was on stage and nearly wet myself with laughter.
David rounded the show off with some suggestions that played on temperature. Those who’ve met me know just *how* important being warm is to me. Up north, we call it being ‘nesh’, but I don’t care, I can’t *stand* being cold. So we all went from sunbathing (one of the lads actually took off his shirt and began rubbing himself with sun cream!) to freezing cold, and having to hug and rub the person next to us as well.
Another side note to thank David for that particular suggestion, as I got to rub my hands up and down the six pack of the hot guy next to me! *looks across at Lex as she’s writing this* Not that I wanted that at all... *cough*
After deeming that we’d been cold long enough (yes, I flipping well had, thank you!) he told us that we’d wake up in shock for different reasons. The two lads at the end would be shocked as they were gay lovers who’d decided to pick tonight to come out, and I’d be shocked as I was hugging this guy when I was in love with the girl next to me. Let’s just say she didn’t seem overly happy as I tried to explain that “it didn’t mean anything” and let my hand trail across her thigh...
The last suggestion he gave us (after waking us up and removing triggers) was that as he shook our hand, we’d explode in orgasm. Looking down the line, most of the guys seemed quite quiet about it, though their voices suddenly changed as he asked them what they thought about hypnosis (“fuckin’ GREAT!). And then... there was my handshake....
*hangs head in shame*
Oh boy, was it obvious.
I’m not generally ‘quiet’ anyway, but on stage with a microphone under my chin? That, coupled with the ‘bathroom break’ I had to make as soon as I left the stage really couldn’t have made my enjoyment any more blatant.
As much as I protested going under during the show (come on, I couldn’t have gone under without *some* display of brattiness!)... Actually, I think I’ll elaborate on that one for you all, as it was ‘hilarious’ according to my friends. David had a system of going down the line of volunteers and putting them to sleep one by one. Of course, when it got to my turn, I’d hide my head in my heads, and refuse to look at him. Now, I knew that he could have just said “Liz, SLEEP!” and I’d have gone under without looking, but he decided to humour me and after I’d told him that “I wasn’t going under that easy, you bastard!” simply moved on to the next girl. As soon as I poked my head up even just an inch, a click came from the corner of my eye, and I slumped down once more. This happened a couple of times during the night, and each time he’d just distract me, and then catch me off guard.
After the show was over, I received a lot ‘knowing smiles’ and the odd round of applause from the audience members who clearly knew me now. In the bathroom, I even got one girl I’d never met come up to me and jokingly call me a whore! I’m just hoping that I’m not going to be spotted so frequently around the University. After all... it’s a big place, right? There’s not going to be any repercussions from my scandalous acts that night... are there?
At any rate, I’m considering going to more of his shows in future, just to see if he remembers me (I sincerely doubt it) and what he makes me do the next time.
Saturday, 13 February 2010
Liz makes a regular habit of opening her “big bratty mouth” as she puts it. Maybe she’s just feeling mischievous, maybe she wants dominating and putting in her place… but doesn’t want to come out and say that. Or maybe she’s just so used to being a brat, that it’s the default mindset that she naturally slips into.
I could work on that… From a d/s perspective, surely the *best* kind of default mindset would be the one where she feels driven to please, and finds herself kneeling, deferring to me, offering herself for my enjoyment and generally behaving as though I’m the ever-glowing center of her existence.
Everyone’s desires are different though, and for me, the thing about being treated like that 24/7 is that I’d find it fantastically dull. I’d miss the banter we share, the discussions we have, the way that we’re both pretty adept at anticipating what the other is thinking at any given time, (As I’ve mentioned, there are times when I can pretty much read Liz’s mind without the aid of hypnosis) and the way we seem to be very much in tune. (On several occasions when we’ve been apart for hours, I’ve been texting Liz on my mobile at the exact instant she’s been messaging me.)
If she were a permanent slavegirl, her only thought might be “I want to serve Master” and I don’t know if I’d find that as stimulating. Obviously I still want to be able to click my fingers and turn darling Lizzy into a mindless thrall… but I want my brainy brat back afterwards too.
I know there may be people out there who’ll read me saying that and think me barmy for turning down the option of having a mindless slavegirl at my beck and call 24/7, but having someone around incapable of thinking for themselves can be a drain. Not only do I have to occupy myself and make the best use of my time, but I have to organise hers as well. When to cook, when to eat, when to clean, when to study, I know I could just stand her mindlessly in a cupboard somewhere till I need her, but I’ve too big a conscience to regularly discard her like that, or to organise her existence around following my whims.
To use an example from a game I was playing recently... In Mass Effect, the big bad of that game is called Sovereign. (A nice dominant name if ever I heard one.)
Sovereign is Reaper (A gargantuan malevolent sentient spaceship that’s been around for millions of years, and awakens with it’s brethren from hibernation every 50,000 years to wipe out all other sentient life in the galaxy.) It emits a mind control field that “indoctrinates” anyone aboard over a period of time. Some people will end up as it’s total thralls over a period of hours, for others it’ll take days or weeks, it gets everyone in the end though.
One of the problems with indoctrination, is that the more indoctrinated any given being is, the less willpower, initiative and imagination they have, till they reach the point where they’re a mindless husk, simply awaiting commands, totally loyal to Sovereign… but totally unable to do anything useful or intelligent with themselves. As such, the people who are most useful to Sovereign are those who are only partially indoctrinated. Mostly obedient to it’s will… but still able to act on their own initiative and carry out complex missions. (Not just “Go to point A and shoot everyone you see there.)
See? Even the giant evil spaceship from before the dawn of time doesn’t really want 100% mind controlled slaves. :oP
I think the best option’s probably to just sneakily cultivate more submissive methods of behaviour when she’s not looking. She’d still get to be a brat.. but at times she’d find herself thinking. “Hmmm, I really shoul prepare a nice meal for Master… uh… I mean Lex sometime” it’s something to consider anyway.
I have actually made good on some of the threats I made in Liz’s pandora post. On nights when she has uni the next day, her bedtime’s moved from “Whenever the hell I feel like it” (Usually 1:30am - 4am) to midnight. She doesn’t make it easy though. At times she’ll (“innocently”) start a game of Left 4 Dead at 11:40, even though a full game could take anywhere from 60 to 90 minutes, she’ll even ask if I want to play too… which of course I’ll always turn down… (well… always *consider* turning down… which is just as good, right?)
I think my crowning moment was actually the point where I *did* confiscate Liz’s WoW authenticator (Her only way of logging into WarCrack)
She had a coursework hand-in due in on the Wednesday. On the weekend preceding the hand-in she still hadn’t made a start on it. I told her that I wanted her to put in a good few hours the next day whilst at uni.
“I don’t need to do that, I’m going to be pulling an all-nighter on Tuesday.”
“Why not pull an all-dayer on the Monday and get the job done sooner rather than later?”
“I work best under pressure”
“You *are* under pressure, you’ve had 3 weeks to do this coursework, and now you’ve only got 3 *days* left.”
“Big deal. I’ll get it done” she said insincerely, and went back to riding some kind of flying beastie in her game.
As I tutted at this behaviour a plan formed in my mind. I looked over with a little smile and gave the command:
“Hey Liz? SLEEP!”
She slumped. Eyes closed. Head rolled to one side. Mouth partially open. Her flying beastie just idling onscreen awaiting input, whilst it’s controller sat thoughtlessly in her own chair… breathing deeply, awaiting input
“Sit yourself up straight” I said. (Not wanting her to pull any muscles from her awkward position.)
“Yes Sir” came her response. Her voice softer, deferential. Much better.
“Now… as you know. You’ve got a coursework due in on Wednesday, don’t you.” I quizzed.
“Yes Sir” came her impassive response.
“And as *I* know, you’re probably going to spend most of tomorrow gaming, aren’t you.”
“Yes Sir” she admitted emotionlessly.
“Well actually no.. what you’re going to find, is that unless you’ve done some work on your coursework, you’re not going to be able to game. D’you understand?”
“You’ll be able to start the games up no problem… but on getting into them, you’re going to find that your hands can’t remember how to play. You’re going to be a complete noob. Unable to get any headshots in CounterStrike, unable to shoot straight in Left 4 Dead, unable to cast spells properly in World of Warcraft. Do you understand?”
“Good Girl. Now would you like to know how you’re going to get your gaming skills back?”
“Yes please Sir” she said, a slight catch in her voice. Even in her relaxed state, the threat to take away her gaming skills still had a a lot of impact.
“Very good. What you’ll find is that for every hour of work you do on your coursework, you’ll get an hour of skill gaming. Once that hour’s up. Back to being a noob. The only way you’re going to be able to play these games is if you do more work on your coursework again. D’you understand?”
“Very good. Now… waking up on three…”
I woke her up feeling pretty pleased with myself. It was a clever suggestion that I hoped would be effective at motivating her to do some bloody work. I dropped a few hints that gaming tomorrow would be tricky… but didn’t tell her the full extent of the programming I’d given her till I dropped her off at the train station the next morning. Her choice of words as I drove off in the car was colourful to say the least.
I’ll admit I may have patted myself on the back a little prematurely at this. I’ll also admit that I shouldn’t really have expected Liz to behave in the way I *wanted* her to behave, owing to the fact that she’ll exploit every loophole, and every questionable bit of logic that she can. What she failed to take into account though, was that I would indeed make good on another one of my punishment threats were she to disobey.
The next time I saw her, she was looking kind of happy and smug. Could it be the warm sense of achievement that comes from a job well done? I thought… Could it be she’s done her coursework already?
Of course not. This is Liz we’re talking about. Her smug demeanour stemmed purely from the fact that she’d managed to work her way around my programming without me noticing until it was too late.
“Good day at uni?” I asked.
“Mmhmmm” She said, with a mischievous little grin and a wiggle in her walk.
“Cool. What did you get up to? Do any work?”
“I spent the day hanging out with mates, trying to arrange another hypno-meet and browsing the hypnopics collective”
This came as something of a surprise to me. (Not so much the hanging out with buddies and browsing hypno-porn… she’s always doing that, but the fact she’d gone out of her way to start arranging another hypno-meet. She loves going to them… but is usually far too busy gaming to take any part in the preparation of them. Something was very wrong with this picture.)
“Oh? Okay… so did you get any work done?”
“Erm… not as such”
“What… do you *mean* ‘not as such?’” came my deliberately icy reply, though inwardly I was more in the mind to kick myself for not checking up on her work’s progress throughout the day.
“I mean… not… at… all?” She said, giving me the puppydog eyes, before breaking out her ‘Huzzah I’m a cute genius and I've beaten you at your own game' grin.
“I see.” I said, leaving a nice pause for effect. “Guess that means I get your authenticator then.”
Her face dropped.
“WHAT!? B… but… I didn’t game!”
“And the reason you didn’t game is because you didn’t want to do any bloody work.”
“But you only said you didn’t want me gaming!”
“Is that what I said? Because what I *wanted* was for you to get a move on with your coursework”
“But you only *said* no gaming!” she said with a hopeful smile. If I hadn’t already taken the wind out of her sails with my decision to take her authenticator this little loophole in my commands would have been highlighted with all the triumphantalism that the girl can muster. (Which can be a hell of a lot.)
“Dagnabbit. You’re obeying the word of the command but not the spirit of the command. I *wanted* you to get your coursework done. Not for you to spent your day arsing around looking at hypno porn. And you *knew* that.”
“Youonlysaidnogaming” she muttered, folding her arms and looking away, still flailing weakly at that dead horse.
The rest of the journey home was spent in silence. I knew from experience that she’d be working out a way to cheapen my victory, so the cogs were turning in my head as I concocted a way of maximising her drive to work now I had her full attention.
On getting home she fired up her laptop and asked me (now the possessor of her authenticator) if she could sign into WoW. She had a raid that evening, and one of the agreements I’d made in advance was that I was only going to put a stop to her WoWing on her own. Not cut back on her activities with her guild. (Which for those for whom it means something is one of the highest ranking guilds in our particular realm. The guys are great to chat to, but they will kick anyone out of the guild who they don’t think is pulling their weight.)
I let her sign in. She couldn’t resist the urge to mumble further complaints at me though.
“There’s no point in you trying to get me to work now. You’ve already got my authenticator. What else can you do?” she grumbled, trying to cheapen any victory that I was attempting to claim. She wasn’t going to make this easy. Good idea I know how to reward as well as punish though…
“Alright then… how about this… I’m going to keep hold of your authenticator for a week. But for every 2 hours of work that you do tomorrow *before* midnight, I’ll take a day off that week.”
She didn’t reply immediately. From the mixed emotions on her face I could tell that she was probably thinking “Dammit… sounds like a good idea.” or “I think he’s got me.”
“Alright…” she said softly, her eyes evasive, realising that I had her. That doing work in the daytime instead of leaving it till 11pm and *then* starting it was the only way she was going to get to lay a finger on her authenticator again in the next 168 hours.
She went back to her game, a little smile on her face.
Addendum I should probably clarify that this particular smile was from being forced into a corner where her only way out was to be a good girl. Not because she'd found yet another way to get around my orders.
That night there weren't many guild members online, so after an hour she logged out of WoW and put an hour or so into her coursework. She went to bed at midnight without being asked. (She's such a good girl.)
The next day I got a couple of eager texts from her telling me to ask her buddies how much work she'd done that day. (I've swapped contact details with one of her mates so we can both keep an eye on how much work she actually does.) She ended up wrapping up the first draft of her coursework before bedtime, grabbing a decent night's sleep (for a student who was intending to pull an all-nighter anyway) and getting her work handed in with hours to spare.
I should take her toys away more often. ;o)